Jokes, any will do

D

DdyBear

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I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Good shape, low mileage... Only driven from time to time.
 

Adie

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because...

7, 8, 9.
 

Kris1973

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A man is walking in the park and sits on a bench.
On the other end of the bench is a young punk with multicoloured hair.
The man stares at the punk for a while.
After a few minutes the youth says “What the f*ck are you looking at?”
The man replies “A few years ago I f*ck a parrot. I was just seeing if you were my offspring”.
 

Adie

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Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house
 

Adie

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Q: Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?

A: He didn’t have the stomach for it!
 
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