Jokes, any will do

Magicminx

UKChat Celebrity
Joined
Jan 4, 2018
Messages
20,655
Reaction score
42,316
Mummy mummy what's the definition of sexual intercourse? Shut up and help me get granny off the doorknob.
 

Hot4u

UKChat Expert
Joined
Apr 11, 2019
Messages
18,445
Reaction score
36,898
What do tofu and a dildo have in common ?

They’re both MEAT substitutes..
 

Hot4u

UKChat Expert
Joined
Apr 11, 2019
Messages
18,445
Reaction score
36,898
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.
 

Hot4u

UKChat Expert
Joined
Apr 11, 2019
Messages
18,445
Reaction score
36,898
How is life like toilet paper?

You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
 

Adie

UKChat Expert
Joined
Jul 28, 2019
Messages
18,182
Reaction score
47,746
A guy goes to the supermarket one day. He’s doing his shopping when he notices an attractive young woman waving at him.

She comes over and says hi to him.

He’s taken aback because he can’t think where he knows her from. So he asks her, “Do you know me?”

She replies, “Yes, I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

The guy’s mind is whirring now and it travels back to the only time he’s ever been unfaithful to his wife. He asks the woman, “Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???”

She looks into his eyes and calmly replies, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”
 

Adie

UKChat Expert
Joined
Jul 28, 2019
Messages
18,182
Reaction score
47,746
Do you sleep with:

A. TV on
B. Radio on
C. The fan on
D. Nothing on.
 

Adie

UKChat Expert
Joined
Jul 28, 2019
Messages
18,182
Reaction score
47,746
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. I refused. If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord
 
Back
Top