Monkey's Paw

[Just-me]

You just shit in your nappy


i wish I didn’t have jellied eels for breakfast!

 

[Firefly]

granted. A time traveler steps out of you screen and grabs your hand whisking you off on a farfetched time travelling adventure in which you stop your past self from eating the jellied eels thus prevent the assassination of a marginally unpopular east European leader the consequences of which mean we now live in a world where Boris is once again PM and then national anthem has been reworked as "God Save our Jellied Eels"

I wish my fish tank would clean itself this week.

 

[Stiffernow]

Granted sets tank up to perfect biodiversity

I wish I was closer to my dream

 

[Just-me]

Granted, gives you instant action sleeping pills

i wish I hadn’t eaten a steak bake for lunch

 

[Ste1972]

Granted turn's out it was a vegan sausage roll

I wish I didn't have to work

 

[Just-me]

Granted you have been given the sack

i wish I had an ice cream

 

[Ste1972]

Granted you're the first person to try the new roast beef flavour ice cream

I wish I could be less shy irl

 

[Just-me]

Granted you can chat dirty to all the gay men you want!

I wish I was fitter

 

[Ste1972]

Granted but no men or women can keep up with you anymore

I wish I could appear maybe 10 years younger

 

[Just-me]

Granted, you have a face lift and make up

I wish i had a chocolate bar

 

[Ste1972]

Granted it's hidden somewhere abouts my body and you have to find it blindfold

I wish I was chilling out on a warm sunny beach

 

[Just-me]

it would be all soft! You can as long as you don’t mind the full scale invasion carrying on around you

I wish I a new phone

 

[Ste1972]

Granted you can read Chinese right?

I wish I wasn't so fucking emotional

 

[Just-me]

One heart removed!

I wish the rain would go away

 

[TashO75]

Granted flys you to Spain

I wish people were just Kind to others

 

[Just-me]

Thank you x I could take you with me!

I wish for tomorrow to be warm and sunny

 

[Walks]

Granted but only tomorrow and the next year will be all be cold, dark, wet and windy

I wish I could wake up next to a beautiful woman

 

[Just-me]

Granted unfortunately you are fat and ugly with bad breath and a personal hygiene problem.


I wish someone would bring me a cup of tea

 

[Walks]

Granted but its the weakest decaf tea ever made

I wish that summer was hear already

 

[GLennUK]

It is but its so hot you cannot go outside

I wish i wish for a fwb who want to didnt charge me a fortune