Monkey's Paw

[Walks]

Granted you are the wishing type, but you are the genie that grants wishes and never gets a wish of his own

I wish I had the power to read people's minds

 

[third_born_sun]

Granted, but you can only read male minds

I wish I could be strong

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... you have the resolve of the leader, the physique of the warrior, the mind of the chess player... but all this strength is tiring, you're gonna need a little nap Rip-Van-Winkle... see ya in 20.... ;-)

I wish I had a Jungle Room !

 

[Firefly]

Oh what fun! A Jungle Room! Granted.
Complete with authentic bitey things. (I hear there is a puma in here somewhere too)

I wish I had a bar of soap.

 

[Walks]

Granted you have a bar of soap but it's too slippery to keep hold of and keeps falling on the floor before you can use it

I wish I could fly

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... a couple of stout lightweight poles and a long string... you are now a kite... whistling through the air, turning, looping, swooping, every stunt in the book... at the end of your string is a 10yr old kite enthusiast... his parents say he won't ever get bored...

I wish for more days of summer... two is a little mean...

 

[Walks]

It most certainly is!

Granted we get an Indian summer 4 weeks of glorious sunshine without a cloud in the sky but as soon as that's up we suffer a storm which lasts just as long

I wish I didn't have to grow old

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... you are blessed with the knowledge that growing old is a state of mind... you stay young at heart despite the aging of the body... you are very popular, especially in nightclubs, and on the beach in your speedo's !!

I wish i could find a hot-sauce that is just right !

 

[Walks]

Granted you find a hot sauce that is just right, it makes everything nice and spicy and hot going in but it's 1000 times hotter coming out and leaves you with a literal 'Ring of fire'

I wish i could swim

 

[Firefly]

Granted, you have the swimming skills of David Hasselhoff, which is good because your town is about to flood… like Genesis Style.

I wish I had a notebook and a pen right now

 

[Walks]

Granted you have a notebook and a pen but the pen has no ink so you can't right down any of your thoughts

I wish I was James Bond

 

[Firefly]

Granted. Your love has just been murdered as part of the spy game you are engaged in. At least you have a killer car.

I wish I was concentrating on something else

 

[Walks]

Granted you are getting the most killer back tickles which takes your mind away from what you were concentrating on, however once they have finished you can't remember what you had been doing

I wish I was taller

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... you are a little bit taller, you are also a baller... you have a girl who looks good, and you'll call her. You have a rabbit in a hat, with a bat, and a six four Impala... but unfortunately you can't sing !

I wish I was asleep... !!

 

[Walks]

Granted you are now asleep, but like sleeping beauty you must wait for true loves kiss, however you are hidden away so no one comes to give you that kiss

I wish I lived in a dreamland

 

[singleMBucks]

{ oh, I dunno, kisses come in different forms !! } ;-)

Granted, your dreamland awaits... but its yours, so I have no idea what goes on in there, so can't possibly comment... there is still alarm clocks!

I wish I had been asleep when this alarm went off !!

 

[Walks]

Granted you were asleep when the alarm went off, but the alarm was so quiet you couldn't hear it and you oversleep and miss all the important things you had to do today

I wish I was more supple and flexible

 

[Firefly]

granted, you notice that your joint are suddenly all supple and loose and do you know why? Congratulations, you're pregnant!

I wish I had a lady cave.

Edit: *realizes why it isn't called a lady cave* *wishes for a room of her own*

 

[Walks]

Granted you have a 'lady cave' or room of your own, whichever you want to call it, it is filled with all the things you love that will help you relax but you are only able to use it for 5 minutes a day

I wish I had something fun to do

 

[Firefly]

granted. The dishes. They are in the kitchen.

I wish Walks would do my dishes.