Jokes, any will do

[UnicornSteps]

Did you hear they arrested the devil?

They got him on possession.

 

[UnicornSteps]

I just realized that the word “seven” has ‘even’ in it.

That’s odd.

 

[UnicornSteps]

I have a friend who worships certain shades of blue.

He's a cyantologist.

 

[Adie]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

Even though I may have been born in the same year as old people, I am not the same age.

 

[Just-me]

You sound just like my dad!

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

 

[UnicornSteps]

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant.

But then I changed my mind.

 

[UnicornSteps]

My 3 favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.

 

[UnicornSteps]

I accidentally ate my cat's food last night

Don't ask meow

 

[UnicornSteps]

Grandad always insisted on switching everything off at the wall at night, which is actually how he died and everyone else in that intensive care ward.

 

[UnicornSteps]

I’m on the 5:2 diet. I’m only allowed to eat at certain times.


0855, 0955, 1055…

 

[UnicornSteps]

I’ve bought loads of self-help books for the new year. Can someone read them for me and give me the gist? Thanks.

 

[Adie]

 

[Mike_51]

 

[Mike_51]

 

[BBW1986]

*Not a joke

 

[BBW1986]

 

[BBW1986]

 

[BBW1986]

*Shoes.. hat.. collar...