Monkey's Paw

[Firefly]

Granted, the herpes are also free.

I wish for a sleepy bunny to cuddle

 

[GLennUK]

here you can have my sons, he wets the bed though

I wish for a day without work stress

 

[Firefly]

One day stress free. Granted.
From tomorrow I'll start working for you. Cute funny delightfully incompetent. You'll have to deal with all the trouble that I caused while also facing the raging horny.

I wish i had a piping hot cup of ginger lemon and honey tea.

 

[GLennUK]

One day stress free. Granted.
From tomorrow I'll start working for you. Cute funny delightfully incompetent. You'll have to deal with all the trouble that I caused while also facing the raging horny.

I wish i had a piping hot cup of ginger lemon and honey tea.

Ill take the hassle ~hugs~

Thread: The tea is piping hot, it has ginger and honey in it, but the honey came in a comb, and there's a layer of melted beeswax flaoitng on the surface.

I wish could eat as much chocolate without getting to be so lardy

 

[Firefly]

It is not the chocolate that makes you lardy...but the other things in chocolate. So here you are a lifetime supply of 82% cacao, bitter chocolate. Eat to your heart's content.

I wish I could get a wax appointment.

 

[GLennUK]

Hi cocoa chocloate is pants imho

Here you go, a few grammes of ear wax for you.

I wish i could stop the rain

 

[Walks]

Granted the rain is stopped for a day but all the rain builds up and then there's a deluge with all the rain falling wherever you are

I wish I was a famous sportsman

 

[GLennUK]

Here be Igor Nikulin, although youre dead and have been for some while and only famous if you throw the hammer in Russia

I wish i could lay in bed and not have to get up

 

[Walks]

Granted but you have stopped breathing and never need to get up anymore

I wish everyday is like Sunday

 

[GLennUK]

Granted but you have stopped breathing and never need to get up anymore

I wish everyday is like Sunday

Your wish is granted, youll spend all day praying on your knees and paying penance with a flagel.

I wish that i could drink proper beer (as opposed to AF) without the effects of the alcohol

 

[Just-me]

Granted, beer tastes like water and doesn’t affect you but water gets you pissed on a half pint and tastes like beer!

I wish life was a little easier

 

[GLennUK]

Granted, its so easy you win at everything without trying, you can eat as much and whatever you like anytime, and never get fat. You get paid more than anyone can earn in a lifetime without having to move a muscle, you have as many sexual partners as you thought you desired, but are never sure that the one you truly desire loves you. Everyone likes you but are not really your friends, its all so easy, there is no point as whatever it is you choose to do, you always 'win'.

I wish i could swim like a fish

 

[Just-me]

I only said a little easier ffs.

Along came a shark!

I wish I had a nice cup of tea

 

[GLennUK]

Granted heres your cup of tea, its really nice, although its a rare blend Panda dung tea, AUS$35,000lb

I wish i could be more sensible

 

[Just-me]

So do we

i wish the weather was warmer

 

[Walks]

Granted but the temperature only increases by half a degree

I wish I could run really fast

 

[Just-me]

You can but only in Tesco, too fast to actually buy anything!

I wish I could travel lots

 

[GLennUK]

You can, but only to Tesco and back home

I wish it was cheaper to heat my house

 

[Just-me]

Granted! You have a tiny one room house bedroom, bathroom and kitchen in one room and a great big fire!

I wish I had a summer holiday booked

 

[Walks]

Granted but its to the Antarctic

I wish I had someone to cook my meals