Jokes, any will do

Kris1973

Kris1973

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My wife came out of the bathroom after her shower, stark naked, and walked into the bedroom. She said, "Shut the curtains babe. I don't want the neighbours to see me naked." "Don't worry," I said. "If they see you naked, they'll shut their own curtains!"
 
Starbuck

Starbuck

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Yes," the farmer said proudly. "This is all mine!
You mean this is it? This is all of it?" the Texan said incredulously.
yes, this is really all mine!
Well, said the Texan, "back home I'd get in my car before the sun'd come up and I'd drive and drive and drive, and when the sun set, why, I'd only be halfway across my land!
the farmer replied wistfully, "I used to have a car like that but sold it"
 
Starbuck

Starbuck

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mickey mouse gets aletter from his solicitor saying he can`t devorce mini because she has buck teeth,mickey writes back and say`s i never said that i said `she was fucking goofey`
 
D

Deleted member 77355

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Met an old neighbour of mine the other day and asked how she was doing. She said her husband had gone out to the shops to get some cabbage for lunch several years ago and never returned. I said how awful what did you do?
She replied had to open a tin of peas instead.
 
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