Jokes, any will do

[sirusdvirus61]

Not many electrician jokes about but how's this for starters?

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

Not many electrician jokes about but how's this for starters?

Watts funny about that? I suspect there might be some resistance to the shock of electrical humour, and readers may even re
volt.

 

[sirusdvirus61]

Watts funny about that? I suspect there might be some resistance to the shock of electrical humour, and readers may even re
volt.

Ohm my God! So good it Hertz.

 

[shambles925]

Ohm my God! So good it Hertz.

This guy obviously felt the electricity

 

[silentfem]

just fishing

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

just fishing

That's one for the ledger, suppose some-one will spin it out and see if it floats, just need to get in the swim.

 

[sirusdvirus61]

Football result just in:
Real Madrid: 3
Surreal Madrid: Fish

 

[Mae]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

You may find it strange what I say,
But the much-elevated Ms Sue Grey,
Despite Education, Wealth, and High Station
Always spelt cunt with a K

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

 

[Adie]

 

[Just-me]

 

[Starbuck]

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an asshole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

 

[JohnM]

My wife told me: “Sex is better on holiday.” That wasn’t a very nice postcard to receive….

 

[Just-me]

 

[Starbuck]

View attachment 132624~

~Grins~

 

[JohnM]

prank call to the RSPCA.

'My cat's trapped in a box.'

'Is he alive?’

'I don't know, I haven’t opened the box...'

'Name?’

 

[Just-me]

 

[Firefly]

 

[JohnM]

When you have sex with a glow-in-the-dark condom, it’s like being in a lighthouse. It’s light, it’s dark. It’s light, it’s dark. It’s light, it’s dark