Jokes, any will do
- Thread starter Kris1973
- Start date
I
IsabelP
Guest
What's the toughest part of being a
vegan?
Keeping it to yourself.
vegan?
Keeping it to yourself.
Stiffernow
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I actually understand that lol
I
IsabelP
Guest
Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers
here.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
here.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Paddy the Irish zoo owner has just lost his main attraction the big silver back gorilla, sad at the loss plus thought of loosing visitors he offers Mick who looked after the gorilla an extra 100 euro a week to dress up and act like the silver back, Mick agreed and loved it, the enclosure was surrounded by people every day, one Saturday it was packed and Mick got carried away doing cart wheels and back flips, he jumped and flipped so high he landed next door in the lion enclosure, of fuck thought mick as the lions started to move slowly towards him, then one lion moved fast and roared, Mick froze and screamed Help!!!!!!!! The Lion said shut the fuck up before you get us all sacked
dicusdiminutivus
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D
Deleted member 77355
Guest
My favourite were the WW1 series
I
IsabelP
Guest
One harp says to another, "You're too small to be a harp!"
The other says "What, you callin' me a lyre?”
The other says "What, you callin' me a lyre?”
dicusdiminutivus
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Had to do a sad 'cos couldn't find a groan! Ilike your wit
dicusdiminutivus
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Apparently he asked for a little head!
D
Deleted member 77355
Guest
Omg Jeanie forgot how many dreams I had about her (very young Larry Hagman I think)
Apparently he asked for a little head!
I
IsabelP
Guest
I recently bought a toilet brush.
Long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper.
Long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper.
M
Mae
Guest
The Bible is 100%Accutate - especially if thrown from close range
dicusdiminutivus
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A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
You know what?, "says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 7 year old says "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say 'hell' and you say 'arse', O.K.?"
"O.K." the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw, hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK!!
He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your arse it won't be Cheerios."
You know what?, "says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 7 year old says "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say 'hell' and you say 'arse', O.K.?"
"O.K." the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw, hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK!!
He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your arse it won't be Cheerios."
D
Deleted member 77355
Guest
What’s the difference between a light on and a hard on?
You can still get to sleep in bed with the light on
You can still get to sleep in bed with the light on