Ask the Ladies

[uglyoldmanc]

Honestly after being in such a relationship for many years not looking at other women turns into not talking to them turns into not going out alone just incase and snowballs into not being able to make a decision without consulting. And a whole lot worse
Just speaking from personal experience.
Have an open honest discussion maybe she doesn't know how you feel.

thanks Ste, I was trying to think of a way of starting this without offending the lad and replying to your message n hoping he reads it is probably my best option.
Cheekylad1988, your chance of a truly healthy relationship are slim.
have you, in the past, given your lady reason to have concerns about you looking at other women, or is this an issue from her pervious relationships or does it stem from her own feelings about herself?
you really need to sit n talk, and accept that one of you may end up having to stand n walk.

I was in a relationship like that for far far too long, I did 24 years, got 2 dogs, n two kids (both now grown) and a hated n hateful ex.
both dogs died. 1 kid has nothing to do with me because I walked out on his mom, and the other only gets in touch when she needs something... mostly for her bloody mother!!

talk to each other before life becomes impossible together.

 

[uglyoldmanc]

ladies,
using a scale of..
all, most, some, few or none,
how many of your male lovers and playmates have found, and used your erogenous zones to pleasure you, either prior to, during or after playtime?

and for the ladies who know the difference, who many of your female lovers and playmates have done so?

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

this an issue from her pervious relationships

good response uom, Cl certainly should talk, and soon,better away than in a negative situation: I've completed 52 years of the sentence, and I guess we did talk. Now that area is a desert and the last response to an attempted discussion was 'can't be bothered'. Obviously the off-switch has ceased up in that permanent position — a reason I'm here I guess.

I do like the idea of a pervious relationship though.

So perhaps a pertinent question for the ladies, particularly those in senior years is 'why does that off-switch kick in with such finallity?'

 

[uglyoldmanc]

... 'why does that off-switch kick in with such finallity?'

men can be as finalistic as women. it can unfortunately become almost a competition into which both are irretrievably dragged without any intention of ever wanting to go there in the first place.
it's called a pit of despair for a damned good reason

but I digress,, this is the ladies room not my personal soap box, lol

 

[Firefly]

ladies,
using a scale of..
all, most, some, few or none,
how many of your male lovers and playmates have found, and used your erogenous zones to pleasure you, either prior to, during or after playtime?

and for the ladies who know the difference, who many of your female lovers and playmates have done so?

all but one.

thus...I am here.

 

[Firefly]

good response uom, Cl certainly should talk, and soon,better away than in a negative situation: I've completed 52 years of the sentence, and I guess we did talk. Now that area is a desert and the last response to an attempted discussion was 'can't be bothered'. Obviously the off-switch has ceased up in that permanent position — a reason I'm here I guess.

I do like the idea of a pervious relationship though.

So perhaps a pertinent question for the ladies, particularly those in senior years is 'why does that off-switch kick in with such finallity?'

In my case, the three times someone has been off-switched, it has been because I couldn't handle what felt like utter neglect any longer.

And once one stops trusting someone, it is really really hard to be vulnerable enough to try trusting again.

I think the off-switch is also a kind of defense mechanism, to avoid further pain. And i am pretty certain it is much more profound than just a mental choice, but in fact supported by psychological/biological/hormonal systems of self protections. (in each off-switch case, even simple touch from the other was physically revolting/nauseating for me)

So if you are looking for the on-switch...i recommend trying to resolve the pain that exists within the relationship. Sure there may be issues from past relationships that also complicate things...but there are also probably ones within the existing relationship.

52 years is a long sentence...perhaps moving the markers: increased attention to the value of special days, to simple things like saying thank you, paying compliments or showing appreciation for little things. (I say this, but I know how hard it is to do and continue doing when a partner offers only a stonewall in return) If all you have is a stonewall...perhaps a pretty mural would do.

 

[Fresco]

Jesus that's really sad for you . I feel your pain .

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

all you have is a stonewall...perhaps a pretty mural would do.

Now that gives me an idea for when we start to redecorate soon! Was just going to paint walls and ceilings white.

Seriously, quite insightful Firefly, though the 52 yr thing is how long we've been (and hopefully remain) married, but many older men (and women) no longer have active sex-lifes with their long-term partners, and also have no wish not to be with that person.

For ourselves, possibly post-menopausal, post-hysterectomy effects, also post-viral prostitis effects (some evidence of ED possibly) may be contributory with other life events also entering into the equation, however, I'd not really complain or feel too hard-done-by.

Was more wondering how some of the more senior ladies (mid-late 60's upwards) might react — and men of similar vintage of course.

 

[Firefly]

Jesus that's really sad for you . I feel your pain .

It sounds sad. But once you close the door on someone who causes you pain, it is very freeing. The first time I did it it was so hard, I felt guilty about not being emotional or physically available for my soon to be former partner. And it took me the better part of a decade to understand that it was the right thing, and not just a cruel and selfish thing, to do. Now, well removed from that time in our lives, we both agree it was a good thing that I did. It made ending things easier, and it made moving on easier for both of us.

 

[Firefly]

Now that gives me an idea for when we start to redecorate soon! Was just going to paint walls and ceilings white.

Seriously, quite insightful Firefly, though the 52 yr thing is how long we've been (and hopefully remain) married, but many older men (and women) no longer have active sex-lifes with their long-term partners, and also have no wish not to be with that person.

For ourselves, possibly post-menopausal, post-hysterectomy effects, also post-viral prostitis effects (some evidence of ED possibly) may be contributory with other life events also entering into the equation, however, I'd not really complain or feel too hard-done-by.

Was more wondering how some of the more senior ladies (mid-late 60's upwards) might react — and men of similar vintage of course.

It is a complicated feeling, not wanting anything from someone, but also not caring to leave them. I hope the redecorating goes well.

 

[Firefly]

I'm not sure if we have any members who can, or care to, speak to it. But many women around me have said, life is better the other side of menopause. (the transition can be hard they say...but once fully over the other side).

Question: How do you enjoy your post-menopause sexuality? And advise for younger women (and/or men who's partners are women)?

 

[tristar]

I'm not sure if we have any members who can, or care to, speak to it. But many women around me have said, life is better the other side of menopause. (the transition can be hard they say...but once fully over the other side).

Question: How do you enjoy your post-menopause sexuality? And advise for younger women (and/or men who's partners are women)?

My Mrs is more interested in sex since starting the menopause

 

[genuineguy81]

Ok it’s got very deep in here…. Let’s lighten the mood. Question: do you ladies prefer professional porn or home made porn

 

[genuineguy81]

Question: name one of your naughtiest guilty sexual pleasures that you either very rarely do or haven’t the confidence to ask to do or you do solely by yourself…

 

[Magicminx]

Ok it’s got very deep in here…. Let’s lighten the mood. Question: do you ladies prefer professional porn or home made porn

None does nothing for me.

 

[uglyoldmanc]

I'm not sure if we have any members who can, or care to, speak to it. But many women around me have said, life is better the other side of menopause. (the transition can be hard they say...but once fully over the other side).

Question: How do you enjoy your post-menopause sexuality? And advise for younger women (and/or men who's partners are women)?

Missimoo is going to reply later in this message.. but .. background..
she realised she was menopausal about 3 years ago because she had hot sweats and inability to sleep. I'd noticed random mood swings n forgetfulness .. seriously worrying because she does my remembering for me, lol ..
she is still going through menopause, but wants to say ....


I havent lost my sex drive (hopefully not). I think its the hot sweats make you feel crap. So once they have gone sex drive should be better. can't wait for them to go as got no complaints at the moment.

as for initiating sex
How I have been brought up, its not a thing a woman does. I love and enjoy sex especially with my current partner. He has taken me to places that I didnt know existed (I wasnt forced or paid to write this!!!!!!). The only way I can initiate sex is by wearing something that I know he likes..........thats me, its hard to change

EDIT : please say hi, in here, to missimoo, as she now has her own account! bugger me, never thought that was gonna happen

 

[Firefly]

Ok it’s got very deep in here…. Let’s lighten the mood. Question: do you ladies prefer professional porn or home made porn

both: I was a fan of POV for a while. But it does get old...kind of fast. Beautiful Agony never gets old.

And Petter Hegre never gets old for me. I could watch many of his films over and over and over.
I can't stand Brazzers, though.

 

[Firefly]

Question: name one of your naughtiest guilty sexual pleasures that you either very rarely do or haven’t the confidence to ask to do or you do solely by yourself…

guilty pleasure: anything on top (cowgirl, amazonian...all that good stuff)
never tried but want to: leg binding, perhaps keeping someone as a pet
by myself: losing myself in a fantasy mmm good fun

 

[genuineguy81]

guilty pleasure: anything on top (cowgirl, amazonian...all that good stuff)
never tried but want to: leg binding, perhaps keeping someone as a pet
by myself: losing myself in a fantasy mmm good fun

Love reverse cowgirl

 

[Ste1972]

Question :- when you see a man/woman what attracts you to them?