Jokes, any will do

[Just-me]

 

[Mae]

I said to my Girlfriend

“I wish you were my Multivariable Calculus Homework”

She look and me and said “why would I want to be your calculus homework”

Smiling I replied “because if you were you’d be spread all over my desk and I’d be doing you all night”

 

[Mae]

I quit my job at the helium gas factory

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone

 

[Mae]

If a Stork delivers a baby - does a Swallow prevent one

 

[Mae]

The cure for acrophobia is just around the corner

 

[Mae]

My girlfriend has a spilt personality’s- she’s good people

 

[Just-me]

The cure for acrophobia is just around the corner

Your jokes are getting worse, you are sounding more and more like my dad!

 

[Mae]

My therapist said I have a preoccupation with vengeance- we’ll see about that

 

[Mae]

My neighbour is in the Guinness Book of records - he’s had 500 concussions in the last 2 years - he lives a stones throw away

 

[Just-me]

I wish there was a groan emoji

 

[LinusVP]

I’ve applied for a job at the Echo Factory .

Haven’t heard back yet …

 

[Mae]

I wish there was a groan emoji

Why you rubbing one out lol

 

[Irishm87]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

Once upon a time, long long ago, a young man (with a smallish penis) desperately wanted to make love to his prim and proper girlfriend who resisted all attempts

He suggests they make love and he will only put his tip in, so she is still a virgin, not breaking her hymen.
Finally she agrees and says, “BUT promise me ONLY THE TIP.”

Then get undressed and slowly he eases his tip into her; only allow his head to enter her most cherished possession, letting the head only slide in and out.

As the feelings intensifies, he can’t resist and buries his penis completely, he is totally ecstatic, making real love for the 1st time

The action heats up and his girlfriend is totally aroused and screams:

“OMG this is so good, shove the whole thing in”

He, being a quick thinker say, “Now dear, a promise is a promise”

 

[LinusVP]

 

[LinusVP]

 

[Cazz]