Monkey's Paw

[Firefly]

Granted. A polite alarm. It will never disturb your sleep.

I wish I could swim in the Dead Sea this year.

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... It has died, it has ceased to be, it is an ex-dead sea... which means its alive... enter at your own risk!

I wish I had time for cooked breakfast this morning...

 

[Firefly]

Granted. Cooked rat a la carte.

I wish for fish.

 

[Hornyasfuck88]

Granted you are now a dolphin so you can catch all the fish you want

I wish to have the super power of my choice

 

[Firefly]

Granted...but in order to use your super power you will have to abstain from ejaculating for at least 30 days

I wish the clock would quit it.

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted...but in order to use your super power you will have to abstain from ejaculating for at least 30 days

I wish the clock would quit it.

Granted... the clock resigns... its position is taken by a German clock, super efficient, uses milli-seconds, and puts more hours into the working day, and less into time off.

I wish I could decide what to do...

 

[Hornyasfuck88]

Granted you now don't have to worry your day is planned out efficiently so you only have two 5 minute breaks a day

I wish that I had more free time

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... you are the proud recipient of the Chinese clock and watch mountain. 20 billion worthless bits of tat are due any day... you may have to move !!

I wish I didn't have to go to the store this evening...

 

[Hornyasfuck88]

Granted you now have free unlimited delivery of mouldy foods

I wish that Donald trump explodes

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... Donald Trump has exploded... or 'trumped' as one might say !! Unfortunately it turns out he really IS an alien, and was actually packed with thousands of miniature Donald Trumps, thus, we now have more... trumps... !!

I wish there was a way...

 

[Enigma47]

Granted. It’s a one way street and unfortunately you’re driving the wrong way....
I wish I owned a vineyard

 

[Firefly]

Granted. But it is in California. Luckily it has recently been vacated thanks to local wildfires. It is ready to start from square one. I look forward to tasting your wine...in 20 or so years.

I wish I had a glass of wine.

 

[Hornyasfuck88]

Granted you have a glass made of wine, now its left an embarrassing stain on your carpet

I wish I owned a holiday home

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... you have your holiday home... unfortunately it has gone on holiday, and has left no return date...

I wish I wasn't late... bloody polite alarms...

 

[Hornyasfuck88]

Granted you now live in the office/place of work that your work at congrats now everyone can see your morning face

I wish I was a business man

 

[singleMBucks]

Granted... you are in business... no one knows what you do or make or sell... there are no customers... there is no business.

I wish there was time for all this ! ;-)

 

[Hornyasfuck88]

Granted you've just been fired from work and lost all intimate and familial relationships now you have time for everything

I wish for a wish

 

[trouble71]

Granted, and granted, and granted................

I wish it was the weekend

 

[Firefly]

Granted, a long weekend at that! But you have just spiked a fever and a nasty cough...

I wish to see a rainbow.

 

[trouble71]

Granted... George, Bungel and Zippy on every channel, all the time.

I wish to fly in space