Jokes, any will do

Bisubexcuck

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Two brothers 7 and 4 in their bedroom. The 7 yr old says ‘I think it’s time we started to swear. When we go down I’ll start and you follow’
‘Okay’ says his brother.
They go downstairs and their mother says to the 7 yr old ‘What would you like for breakfast?’
‘Get me some coco pops bitch’
Swack, she cracks him round the head and turns to the 4 yr old.
‘And what would you like?
‘ I dunno but not fucking coco pops’
 

dicusdiminutivus

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Two old men are sitting in a bar.

One of them looks at the other & says

“You look familiar… where you from?”

The second old man replies “Ireland”

The first old man looks astonished & says

” No way I’m from Ireland myself, what a small world!”

The second old man then looks at the first “What city?”

The first old man says “Dublin?”

The second old man looks astonished

“No way I’m from Dublin meself! What a small world.”

The first man looks at the second old man “What school you go to?”

The second old man replies

“Saint Mary’s class of 89”

The first old man is absolutely baffled

” NO WAY Saint Mary’s class of 89 myself! What a small world!”

At this point, another man comes into the bar & says to the bartender

“Hey, Joe! Anything interesting going on?”

The bartender says

“Not really… but the Murphy twins are drunk again.”
 

nOracle

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Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse.

Should've bought a carbon monoxide alarm!
 
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