Jokes, any will do

[Chump]

I picked up a hitchhiker on the main road she said “did you know I’m a witch”
Prove it I said so she put her hand on my lap
And I turned into a lay bye

 

[JohnM]

I’m in the 10-12 zone….
Not really a joke, but made me smile

 

[Digler1984]

My ex called me "average", I thought "that's mean"

 

[Digler1984]

My ex called me "average", I thought "that's mean"

 

[Juxtaposed]

 

[Juxtaposed]

 

[Intrigueme]

How many cocks does it take to spoil a brothel?

 

[Intrigueme]

bride on the night of her honeymoon
‘is that it?’
I’ve had injections that have taken longer’

 

[DoubleJeez]

The accuracy of this is scary

 

[DoubleJeez]

 

[DoubleJeez]

 

[DoubleJeez]

 

[DoubleJeez]

 

[nick1962]

Took the ex wife to the pub , went to get a round in got back she was tears…I said what’s up? She said that man wants to fil my fanny with Guinness then drink it all!! She said go and hit him!!
I said no fucking way I’m hitting a bloke who can drink ten pints!!!

 

[Juxtaposed]

View attachment 179217

I can fix that

 

[nOracle]

 

[Juxtaposed]

There's a Nun having a bath

She hears a knock at the door

She's a bit worried, so she shouts out; Who is it?

A man responds; It's the blind man

Well come on in! The Nun says

And as he comes in, he says; Nice tits! Where do you want the blinds?

 

[DoubleJeez]

 

[Intrigueme]

Two nuns in a bath one turns to the other and says “where’s the soap”
The other says “yes doesn’t it”

 

[Intrigueme]

I picked up a hitchhiker on Halloween.
Making small talk I suavely said “and what do you do”
She said “I’m a witch” so I said “prove it”
So she put her hand on my thigh
And I turned into a lay-by.