Jokes, any will do

[Secretone]

Thief's broke into the local police station last and stole all the toilets.
A police spokesman said they have nothing to go on

 

[Mae]

What do you call a man with no shins - Toeknee

 

[Mae]

What’s green and smells like pork - Kermit’s fingers

 

[Mae]

Why did the baker have brown hands - he kneaded a poo

 

[Secretone]

 

[Mike_51]

 

[Mike_51]

 

[Mike_51]

 

[Adie]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

@Mike_51 If you jumped off a bridge in the middle of Paris would you be in Seine?

 

[NorthernStar72]

What's green and smells of bacon?....
Kermits fingers!!!

 

[Adie]

 

[Mae]

I said to my girlfriend

You remind me of my pinky toe - you’re short and cute and I’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in the house

 

[BBW1986]

 

[BBW1986]

 

[Just-me]

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

 

[Just-me]

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."

 

[Just-me]

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

 

[Just-me]

A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

 

[Just-me]

A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. "Why?" "Because," the doctor says. "I'm trying to examine you."