dicusdiminutivus
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Jokes, any will do
- Thread starter Kris1973
- Start date
dicusdiminutivus
UKChat Expert
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2021
- Messages
- 4,469
- Reaction score
- 1,530
dicusdiminutivus
UKChat Expert
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2021
- Messages
- 4,469
- Reaction score
- 1,530
dicusdiminutivus
UKChat Expert
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2021
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- 4,469
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- 1,530
shambles925
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A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase a negligee for his wife.
He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price — the more see-thru, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the most see-thru item, pays the $500, and takes it home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she’s no dummy), ‘I have an idea.
It’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing.
I won’t put it on, but I’ll do the modelling without clothes, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.’
She appears without clothes on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, ‘Good Grief! You’d think for $500, they’d at least iron it!’
He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.
He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price — the more see-thru, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the most see-thru item, pays the $500, and takes it home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she’s no dummy), ‘I have an idea.
It’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing.
I won’t put it on, but I’ll do the modelling without clothes, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.’
She appears without clothes on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, ‘Good Grief! You’d think for $500, they’d at least iron it!’
He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.
shambles925
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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"
“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."
"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"
“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."
"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba.
dicusdiminutivus
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