Jokes, any will do

Bigjugs

Bigjugs

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I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex," screamed the wife to her husband. "I'm really disappointed."
"You can hardly blame me," he answered. "It's not like I was getting any from you.”
"Well that's your fault," she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it”
 
Bigjugs

Bigjugs

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When I was about 9 years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a friend of his, someone who I didn't even know.
When we got there, I stayed in a corner waiting for the time to pass.
Then a man approached me and said, 'Enjoy life youngster, be happy because time flies. Look at me now, I didn't enjoy it.'
Then he passed his hand over my head and left.
My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person.
When I looked in the coffin, I was horrified to see that the man in the coffin was the same man who had spoken to me!
I was so traumatized I couldn't sleep properly.
I had terrible nightmares. I was terrified of being alone.
I couldn't sleep without a night light for many years.
I saw many psychologists, endured much turmoil throughout my adolescent years.
It got better as I aged, but I would still occasionally wake up screaming in fear.
Years later, I discovered something incredible that changed my life.
The dead man had a twin.
 
Firefly

Firefly

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
octopus.jpg
 
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