M
Jokes, any will do
- Thread starter Kris1973
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dicusdiminutivus
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Retirement
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local supermarket.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in find the stuff and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife, like most women — loves to browse which leaves me with endless time to fill.
Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from the local supermarket.
Dear Mrs. (Name redacted):
Over the past six months, a gentleman, we assume your husband, has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you.
Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. 15 June: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. 2 July: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. 7 July: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. 15 August: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers, he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department, to which ten children obliged.
5. 4 September: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror, while he picked his nose.
6. 10 September: While looking at weed-killer and rat poison in the gardening department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
7. 18 October: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
8. Also 18 October: Took a box of condoms to the checkouts and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
9. 23 October: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
Causing one of our checkout ladies to pass out!
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local supermarket.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in find the stuff and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife, like most women — loves to browse which leaves me with endless time to fill.
Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from the local supermarket.
Dear Mrs. (Name redacted):
Over the past six months, a gentleman, we assume your husband, has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you.
Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. 15 June: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. 2 July: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. 7 July: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. 15 August: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers, he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department, to which ten children obliged.
5. 4 September: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror, while he picked his nose.
6. 10 September: While looking at weed-killer and rat poison in the gardening department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
7. 18 October: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
8. Also 18 October: Took a box of condoms to the checkouts and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
9. 23 October: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
Causing one of our checkout ladies to pass out!
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Magicminx
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Magicminx
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Ctid
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Oldfitman
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Oldfitman
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Oldfitman
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Live it
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Magicminx
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malepantielover
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Ideal Headlights.
