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Jokes, any will do
- Thread starter Kris1973
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Magicminx
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shambles925
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BBW1986
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Kris1973
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Englishman, Welshman, Irishman and a Scotsman are taken prisoner and sentenced to death:
The captors say "you each get one final request and then you get a bullet in your head"
They turn and ask the Welshman what his final wish is and he says "I want 1000 men to sing "Land of my Fathers""
They turn and ask the Scotsman what his final wish is and he says "I want 1000 bagpipers to play "Flower of Scotland""
They turn and ask the Irishman what his final wish is and he says "I want 1000 dancers to perform the Riverdance"
They turn and ask the Englishman what his final wish is and he says "Shoot me first"
The captors say "you each get one final request and then you get a bullet in your head"
They turn and ask the Welshman what his final wish is and he says "I want 1000 men to sing "Land of my Fathers""
They turn and ask the Scotsman what his final wish is and he says "I want 1000 bagpipers to play "Flower of Scotland""
They turn and ask the Irishman what his final wish is and he says "I want 1000 dancers to perform the Riverdance"
They turn and ask the Englishman what his final wish is and he says "Shoot me first"
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Mrbluesky
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Mummy polar bear and baby sitting on an iceberg.
Baby says, mum you sure I’m a polar bear, not a grizzly bear?
Mum says, of course you’re a polar bear, I’m a polar bear so you’re a polar bear.
Baby says, mum you sure I’m a polar bear, not a black bear?
Mum says, of course you’re a polar bear, I’m a polar bear your dad’s a polar bear so you’re a polar bear.
Baby says, mum you sure I’m a polar bear, not a Koala bear?
Mum says, of course you’re a polar bear, I’m a polar bear your dad’s a polar bear, all your grandparents are polar bears so you’re a polar bear. Now why do you keep asking?
Coz I’m fucking freezing.
Baby says, mum you sure I’m a polar bear, not a grizzly bear?
Mum says, of course you’re a polar bear, I’m a polar bear so you’re a polar bear.
Baby says, mum you sure I’m a polar bear, not a black bear?
Mum says, of course you’re a polar bear, I’m a polar bear your dad’s a polar bear so you’re a polar bear.
Baby says, mum you sure I’m a polar bear, not a Koala bear?
Mum says, of course you’re a polar bear, I’m a polar bear your dad’s a polar bear, all your grandparents are polar bears so you’re a polar bear. Now why do you keep asking?
Coz I’m fucking freezing.
DevonianBod
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"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
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