Jokes, any will do

[Darryl40]

I have more than one rampant rabbit...happy easter
View attachment 193231

Love to eat it

 

[francis777]

I,d love to be a rabbit,?

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish. He asked for suggestions as to how to raise money for his church. He was told that horse owners always made money.

So he went to a horse auction but made a very poor buy, as the animal he bought turned out to be a donkey.

However, he thought he might as well enter the donkey in the towns weekly animal race.

The donkey came in third. The next morning, the headlines read: "Father Murphy’s Ass Shows".

The old archbishop was very displeased.

The next week, the donkey came in first so the headlines read: "Father Murphy's Ass Out in Front."

The archbishop was up in arms and insisting that something had to be done.

Father Murphy entered the donkey for a third time.

In this race, the donkey came in second. The headlines now read: "Father Murphy’s Ass Back in Place".

The archbishop thought that this was too much, so he ordered the priest to race no more.

This inspired the newspaper editor to write: "Archbishop Scratches Father Murphy’s Ass".

When the archbishop read this, he commanded Father Murphy to get rid of the donkey.

Father Murphy gave the donkey to Sister Agatha, who intended to retire the animal and treat it as a pet.

Now the headlines read: "Nun Owns Best Ass in Town".

Now the archbishop orders Sister Agatha to get rid of the donkey immediately, so she sold it to a petting zoo for ten dollars.

The next morning's newspaper headlines read: "Sister Agatha Peddles Ass for Ten Dollars" ---they buried the archbishop.

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

 

[Firefly]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."

The guy left.

A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."

The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."

The guy left.

The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes.

He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back."

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?"

Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"

 

[dicusdiminutivus]