Jokes, any will do

[Magicminx]

 

[Magicminx]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

A woman sends a text to her husband….”Honey, don’t forget to buy bread".

When you come home from work, your girlfriend Valarie will greet you”.

Husband: Ah, who is Valarie?

Wife” Nobody, I just wanted you to answer, and confirm you saw my text.

Husband: But I’m with Valarie now! I thought you saw us!

Wife: What!!! Where are you?

Husband: Near the Bakery!

Wife: Wait! I’m coming over there right now.!

After ten minutes, his wife texts…I’m at the bakery, where are you?

I’m at work. Now that your at the bakery, buy the bread!

 

[Magicminx]

 

[Magicminx]

 

[Adie]

 

[Cazz]

 

[Magicminx]

 

[Magicminx]

 

[Magicminx]

 

[Cazz]

 

[Cazz]

 

[Adie]

 

[Cazz]

 

[dicusdiminutivus]

On a tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his top of the range BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

“Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.

As he does, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

“What are those?, asks the attendant.

“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.

“Well, what on earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman.

“They’re for resting my balls on, when I’m driving”, says Tiger.

“Fookin ell", says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything."

 

[Cazz]

 

[Cazz]

 

[Cazz]

 

[Cazz]

 

[Cazz]