I'd like to say that the observations are very funny, which they are but alas they do seem to marry up to about 80% of the male chatters in the chat room. I know that meetings do happen from this site but it's primarily a chat and picture place for amusement. Yet some don't seem too understand that...
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- Thread starter GrumpyOldishMan
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Koala
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I just read all your sweet tips. It surprises me though, none of you mention payment?
In most countries its common knowledge that when nothing else works, a little extra pocket money is guaranteed to get the ladies going. If you offer money, anything can usually be done. Like your wish is their command.
There's something endearing when a man whispers "call me penguin"
(After all, he has paid.)
dicusdiminutivus
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They do say that if you can a women to laugh your halfway to getting into their knickers — well, I sent a dick pic and they sure laughed.
HardAnal
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As has been pointed out by another chatter here, Money is an ultimate power over women. They love being bought, knowing that a man can provide for them and give them their hearts desire. But you don't want to blow your wad too soon so you have to be cautious when doing so. Start off with a lowball offer, £3.50 and a packet of crisps. Surprisingly, this this often works. With so many women around, your Universal Credit payment has got to last.
While in chat, you definitely want to appear to be wanted and desired already by women. Many men are married or in relationships. To some women that's a massive turn on. The sheer naughtiness, the thrill and excitement. Use this to your advantage. You definetly need to advertise the fact that you are unavailable. Women desire what they can't have. With this in mind, there is a sure-fire way to activate this in the women. Announce in chat "Wanna see pictures of my wife/gf?" Classic move. Works everytime.
If you are already chatting to a lady in chat just casually, with a bit of flirty banter, this is obviously not proceeding as quickly as you hoped. This is very dangerous for you. Your desire to chuck custard up a love tunnel can't wait forever. "FlirtyLady" may be a delicious temptation for you but she requires EFFORT. This is something you absolutely can't afford to put in. Force the issue when another chatter puts a pic up. Announce to them in full view of your flirty partner that you would absolutely smash their pussy to bits. "FlirtyLady" will see this as a challenge to her sexuality and immediately drop her knickers to be ploughed by you.
From time to time, the room will go quiet naturally. This is the time that you can use your secret weapon against the women of the room. Don't talk to them, they are expecting that. Don't even PM them. Don't do anything to draw attention to yourself. What you must do though is intensely stare at the screen. The women in the room in the room will automatically sense your telepathic desires to mate with them. PM's will come flooding in. The room will be flooded too with all the women's natural love juices.
Keep it up lads, these ladies are so ready for you
While in chat, you definitely want to appear to be wanted and desired already by women. Many men are married or in relationships. To some women that's a massive turn on. The sheer naughtiness, the thrill and excitement. Use this to your advantage. You definetly need to advertise the fact that you are unavailable. Women desire what they can't have. With this in mind, there is a sure-fire way to activate this in the women. Announce in chat "Wanna see pictures of my wife/gf?" Classic move. Works everytime.
If you are already chatting to a lady in chat just casually, with a bit of flirty banter, this is obviously not proceeding as quickly as you hoped. This is very dangerous for you. Your desire to chuck custard up a love tunnel can't wait forever. "FlirtyLady" may be a delicious temptation for you but she requires EFFORT. This is something you absolutely can't afford to put in. Force the issue when another chatter puts a pic up. Announce to them in full view of your flirty partner that you would absolutely smash their pussy to bits. "FlirtyLady" will see this as a challenge to her sexuality and immediately drop her knickers to be ploughed by you.
From time to time, the room will go quiet naturally. This is the time that you can use your secret weapon against the women of the room. Don't talk to them, they are expecting that. Don't even PM them. Don't do anything to draw attention to yourself. What you must do though is intensely stare at the screen. The women in the room in the room will automatically sense your telepathic desires to mate with them. PM's will come flooding in. The room will be flooded too with all the women's natural love juices.
Keep it up lads, these ladies are so ready for you
GrumpyOldishMan
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I have just spluttered my coffee all down my (already stained, obviously) t-shirt! Absolute GOLD my friend!
GrumpyOldishMan
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HardAnal
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Some more hot tips for you guys to get the girl and grab her by the pussy!
When in a chat room, it is sometimes necessary to attach yourself to a group of like-minded perverts so you collectively jerk amongst yourselves while waiting for the babes. You can egg each other on and whip yourselves up into a frenzy like a pack of sex-crazed baboons. When a woman dares to speak, she will be instantly flooded by your gaggle of horny wank-chimps. She will be totally aroused that all of these cavemen want to bend her over the nearest table and take her one after the other. Don't worry fellas, this isn't intimidating for them at all.
But I also know not all of you are the Neanderthal type. Some of you have this very rare condition called FEELINGS. This can be a hinderance to you in such a hyper-sexualised enviroment. Maybe you are shy, maybe you don't know how to get into that first conversation with them. Well you sensitive sausages, I've got a classic way in! Simply talk to them about nothing to do with sex! "Do you like bread? Yeah I do too" Before you know it, they'll be sucking on your dick and begging you to take them up the chocolate wizway.
Now lets turn our attention to the L word. No, not that one. No one wants that. The word on everyone's lips is LESBIANS. These are a mysterious and captivating bunch. They can appear completely disinterested in you. Even downright repulsed. But rest assured guys, this is all a charade. What they are really craving is dick, dick and more dick. Don't be put off by them. Tell them that they are only that way because they haven't been with a REAL MAN like you. Tell them that they need a good spaffing on their bazookas. They'll be totally down for the bad stuff in no time.
Finally, a quick word about target selection. Many of you are approaching or even passing your use by dates. You will know this because of your desires to listen to The Smiths and buy a little red sportscar. There are women who are around the same age as you in chat. You may have lots in common, shared life experiences, similar hopes and goals. Even sexual appetites that will mesh nicely together. This is all ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. You don't want or need that for your love missile to explode in. What you need is anyone who's aged 18, 19 or 20. Only these will do. They have ripe young bodies and nearly empty minds. Don't be afraid to only focus on these whippersnappers and ignore all the other women.
Laters you sexy hunks. Keep spreading your seed far and wide!!
When in a chat room, it is sometimes necessary to attach yourself to a group of like-minded perverts so you collectively jerk amongst yourselves while waiting for the babes. You can egg each other on and whip yourselves up into a frenzy like a pack of sex-crazed baboons. When a woman dares to speak, she will be instantly flooded by your gaggle of horny wank-chimps. She will be totally aroused that all of these cavemen want to bend her over the nearest table and take her one after the other. Don't worry fellas, this isn't intimidating for them at all.
But I also know not all of you are the Neanderthal type. Some of you have this very rare condition called FEELINGS. This can be a hinderance to you in such a hyper-sexualised enviroment. Maybe you are shy, maybe you don't know how to get into that first conversation with them. Well you sensitive sausages, I've got a classic way in! Simply talk to them about nothing to do with sex! "Do you like bread? Yeah I do too" Before you know it, they'll be sucking on your dick and begging you to take them up the chocolate wizway.
Now lets turn our attention to the L word. No, not that one. No one wants that. The word on everyone's lips is LESBIANS. These are a mysterious and captivating bunch. They can appear completely disinterested in you. Even downright repulsed. But rest assured guys, this is all a charade. What they are really craving is dick, dick and more dick. Don't be put off by them. Tell them that they are only that way because they haven't been with a REAL MAN like you. Tell them that they need a good spaffing on their bazookas. They'll be totally down for the bad stuff in no time.
Finally, a quick word about target selection. Many of you are approaching or even passing your use by dates. You will know this because of your desires to listen to The Smiths and buy a little red sportscar. There are women who are around the same age as you in chat. You may have lots in common, shared life experiences, similar hopes and goals. Even sexual appetites that will mesh nicely together. This is all ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. You don't want or need that for your love missile to explode in. What you need is anyone who's aged 18, 19 or 20. Only these will do. They have ripe young bodies and nearly empty minds. Don't be afraid to only focus on these whippersnappers and ignore all the other women.
Laters you sexy hunks. Keep spreading your seed far and wide!!
Last edited:
Hedgehog380
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Some more hot tips for you guys to get the girl and grab her by the pussy!
When in a chat room, it is sometimes necessary to attach yourself to a group of like-minded perverts so you collectively jerk amongst yourselves while waiting for the babes. You can egg each other on and whip yourselves up into a frenzy like a pack of sex-crazed baboons. When a woman dares to speak, she will be instantly flooded by your gaggle of horny wank-chimps. She will be totally aroused that all of these cavemen want to bend her over the nearest table and take her one after the other. Don't worry fellas, this isn't intimidating for them at all.
But I also know not all of you are the Neanderthal type. Some of you have this very rare condition called FEELINGS. This can be a hinderance to you in such a hyper-sexualised enviroment. Maybe you are shy, maybe you don't know how to get into that first conversation with them. Well you sensitive sausages, I've got a classic way in! Simply talk to them about nothing to do with sex! "Do you like bread? Yeah I do too" Before you know it, they'll be sucking on your dick and begging you to take them up the chocolate wizway.
Now lets turn our attention to the L word. No, not that one. No one wants that. The word on everyone's lips is LESBIANS. These are a mysterious and captivating bunch. They can appear completely disinterested in you. Even downright repulsed. But rest assured guys, this is all a charade. What they are really craving is dick, dick and more dick. Don't be put off by them. Tell them that they are only that way because they haven't been with a REAL MAN like you. Tell them that they need a good spaffing on their bazookas. They'll be totally down for the bad stuff in no time.
Finally, a quick word about target selection. Many of you are approaching or even passing your use by dates. You will know this because of your desires to listen to The Smiths and buy a little red sportscar. There are women who are around the same age as you in chat. You may have lots in common, shared life experiences, similar hopes and goals. Even sexual appetites that will mesh nicely together. This is all ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. You don't want or need that for your love missile to explode in. What you need is anyone who's aged 18, 19 or 20. Only these will do. They have ripe young bodies and nearly empty minds. Don't be afraid to only focus on these whippersnappers and ignore all the other women.
Laters you sexy hunks. Keep spreading your seed far and wide!!
Please remember gentlemen that should you encounter a lesbian in the wild it is your manly duty to alert your fellow alphas to it's presence.
Turn on your caps lock key and type the following: "LESBIAN! YOU ARE A DIRTY FRIGID LESBIAN!".
This will make you seem heroic to the males present, and the other females will see you as an honourable keeper of the natural order of things. The word "frigid" is especially important, as this can help to shame lesbians into remembering that they do indeed enjoy penises after all. Perhaps she will even have some lesbian friends that she can invite to your subsequent trouser party.
It is important to note that should any of the previous tips and tricks not work, that your lack of opportunity to ride the vertical waltzers is never, ever, your fault.
HardAnal
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Morning shaggers. I've heard that there are still spunk trumpets that need blowing. We need to correct that!
We've already discussed using fake cock pics to get your ladies dripping. But fellas, you need to be aware that they see hundreds of cocks. You have to make yours extra special in order to stand out from the crowd. How do you do that? Well i'm glad you asked! It has nothing to do with lighting, pose or even the size of that custard chucker. What really matters is that it is noticibly different from all the other dicks vying to pound them. I recommend it wear a bow tie. It's playful, noticible and a great conversation starter.
You also need to make yourself appear ready for action at any time. Even if you're not. Say that you're naked, horny and throbbing even if you are sat on the number 59 bus next to some guy reading the paper. These chicks love that you are instantly ready to please them. The girls do the same to you after all. They'll say that they have taken their knicknaks off when they are actually sat there in a dressing gown and slippers, cup of tea in hand watching Emmerdale. It's all about the game fellas. Play it.
Next I want to talk about a little thing called ESCALATION. By aware that these sluts are like freight trains: slow to start but once they get going they are unstoppable. You need to give them an extra push to send them along that track. So if she's playfully talking about sucking on your beef jerky, you need to take it up a notch. Throw her against the wall and slam it up her dirty bike trail. The sudden shock will tip her over the edge and make her your wanton sex toy. They love a bit of it.
Finally a word on ettiquette, which is a big scary word for some of you. After you've blown your wad into your chosen ladies depths, you may be tempted to thank her for helping you out. DO NOT DO THIS. This will lead to the expectation that she can get more from you. Anytime, anyplace and that you will want to ram her again and again. What you want is a fresh bit of muff every day to dive into. Always getting something new, something exciting. You're best off just suddenly leaving as soon as you've filled the tissue. She'll be left wanting more, but you've had your fun!
See ya later Adonis's. These gals love how moist I make them. :
We've already discussed using fake cock pics to get your ladies dripping. But fellas, you need to be aware that they see hundreds of cocks. You have to make yours extra special in order to stand out from the crowd. How do you do that? Well i'm glad you asked! It has nothing to do with lighting, pose or even the size of that custard chucker. What really matters is that it is noticibly different from all the other dicks vying to pound them. I recommend it wear a bow tie. It's playful, noticible and a great conversation starter.
You also need to make yourself appear ready for action at any time. Even if you're not. Say that you're naked, horny and throbbing even if you are sat on the number 59 bus next to some guy reading the paper. These chicks love that you are instantly ready to please them. The girls do the same to you after all. They'll say that they have taken their knicknaks off when they are actually sat there in a dressing gown and slippers, cup of tea in hand watching Emmerdale. It's all about the game fellas. Play it.
Next I want to talk about a little thing called ESCALATION. By aware that these sluts are like freight trains: slow to start but once they get going they are unstoppable. You need to give them an extra push to send them along that track. So if she's playfully talking about sucking on your beef jerky, you need to take it up a notch. Throw her against the wall and slam it up her dirty bike trail. The sudden shock will tip her over the edge and make her your wanton sex toy. They love a bit of it.
Finally a word on ettiquette, which is a big scary word for some of you. After you've blown your wad into your chosen ladies depths, you may be tempted to thank her for helping you out. DO NOT DO THIS. This will lead to the expectation that she can get more from you. Anytime, anyplace and that you will want to ram her again and again. What you want is a fresh bit of muff every day to dive into. Always getting something new, something exciting. You're best off just suddenly leaving as soon as you've filled the tissue. She'll be left wanting more, but you've had your fun!
See ya later Adonis's. These gals love how moist I make them. :
S
Stretchit
Guest
As a true player of the game ‘snakes n ladders’ these top tips are sure to work. It’s even got a thumbs up from my morning glory. Get out your notebooks lads.
Manliness is always self declared, never perceived.
Tantrums after rejection are definitely not childish. Don’t forget to fabricate their mental instability as a way to cope with said rejection as a warning to others.
Manliness is always self declared, never perceived.
Tantrums after rejection are definitely not childish. Don’t forget to fabricate their mental instability as a way to cope with said rejection as a warning to others.
GrumpyOldishMan
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S
Stretchit
Guest
Ah Ancient Greece, what a time to be alive.
I’m around here and there, can’t promise I’ll be around to grade papers all the time. Nonetheless, glad to be aboard.
C
CurvyMelanie88
Guest
Excellent thread and hopefully some helpful hints and tips. I’d like to share some common messages I receive in the chat rooms and give a female perspective:
1) Want to see my cock?
Well the obvious answer is abso-fucking-lutely. Nothing gets me more wet than seeing what I can only describe as something that looks like ET’s finger.
2) No message, just straight in with an unsolicited dick pic
No problem. I send a pic of my husbands in return. What do you mean we aren’t playing Top Trumps?
3) Are you curvy?
No, I’m a size fucking 8
4) Being offered cocaine to suck a strangers cock
Nothing gets a woman quivering with excitement about being offered Colombia’s finest in return for sucking your cock. Didn’t realise there were so many Pablo Escobar wannabes on here
5) The same messages all the time
From ‘my cock is the same width as a can of Pepsi’ to ‘are you a struggling single mum who wants some money and coke.’ Doesn’t matter how long since I was last online, it’s the same messages! Use your imagination lads, come up with something different!
6) Having a tantrum
Basically the conversation goes like this before I’ve even replied:
‘Hi’
‘Love your curves’
‘Sexy feet too’
‘You there’
‘Answer me slut’
‘Fuck off then you fucking fat cunt’
Fuck me, I’m so fucking wet for you now. It was when you called me a fat cunt, you absolute charmer.
So fella’s, that’s from the viewpoint of a woman who is in the chat rooms fairly often. Might start sharing screen shots of conversations as an example of how not to chat to a woman!
1) Want to see my cock?
Well the obvious answer is abso-fucking-lutely. Nothing gets me more wet than seeing what I can only describe as something that looks like ET’s finger.
2) No message, just straight in with an unsolicited dick pic
No problem. I send a pic of my husbands in return. What do you mean we aren’t playing Top Trumps?
3) Are you curvy?
No, I’m a size fucking 8
4) Being offered cocaine to suck a strangers cock
Nothing gets a woman quivering with excitement about being offered Colombia’s finest in return for sucking your cock. Didn’t realise there were so many Pablo Escobar wannabes on here
5) The same messages all the time
From ‘my cock is the same width as a can of Pepsi’ to ‘are you a struggling single mum who wants some money and coke.’ Doesn’t matter how long since I was last online, it’s the same messages! Use your imagination lads, come up with something different!
6) Having a tantrum
Basically the conversation goes like this before I’ve even replied:
‘Hi’
‘Love your curves’
‘Sexy feet too’
‘You there’
‘Answer me slut’
‘Fuck off then you fucking fat cunt’
Fuck me, I’m so fucking wet for you now. It was when you called me a fat cunt, you absolute charmer.
So fella’s, that’s from the viewpoint of a woman who is in the chat rooms fairly often. Might start sharing screen shots of conversations as an example of how not to chat to a woman!
GrumpyOldishMan
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Abso-fucking-lutely first class Ms Curvy!!
So many highlights there, but loving the concept of top trumps!
C
CurvyMelanie88
Guest
Not quite number 4 on my original post (being offered coke in return for a blowjob) but here’s an alternative that’s being offered to me
Hedgehog380
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Every time I think I’ve seen the worst of internet behaviour a new floor is found