Self

[MrWolf]

The hatred in my soul and in my heart is overbearing and each day it grows. Darker than the previous day.
The knowing there is no light
Its just too much to bear

 

[Firefly]

*hugs MrWolf*

*sits and shares her light*

What's up?

 

[MrWolf]

My head is such a mess. Continued night terrors, mostly memories I'd rather forget

 

[Firefly]

You will forget them.

They happened. They were hard. They are finished. They cannot be changed, but your relation to them can. How...that varies from person to person, but there is a way that suits you.

Night terrors.
I'll stand guard over your sleep. When a terror begins, just call me to bring the light. When you see your terrors in the light perhaps you can start to understand they are nothing to your future. Phantoms from your past trying to guide you.

Messy head.
Brush your hair. :wink:


I am sorry it is so hard for you.

 

[MrWolf]

Lol.

I was diagnosed with PTSD recently. Honestly that scared me more then when I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and stress disorders when I was a 16 (many years ago(I'm still battling with my demons at 33))

I barely sleep as I'm too damn afraid. So I find myself questioning everything I've ever done in life, trying to find purpose...but I just don't know anymore

 

[VIP]

I’m clearly no expert in the field.

But you are doing amazingly well. You’re surviving which is hard to do right now. The dark places are a real struggle but you can and will beat your demons.

Keep taking small steps some may be backwards some maybe sideways but keep moving, you will find your path. You will find your light.

You’re not alone.

It might feel that way right now but you’re not.

If you want to message me feel free.

Hugs.

 

[MrWolf]

I'm just so sick and tired of fighting this...war???

No matter what I do...it feels like I've wasted my life and I don't know how much more I cope with. There are voices in my head telling me I'd be better of six feet under, there was a time I didn't belive it but thats beging to change :'( :' (

 

[VIP]

I know it’s hard. I know it’s tiring. But you can and will get through it.

Your life isn’t wasted, you’re 33 you have so much more time. You can change things. You can conquer your demons.
You will get through this. You’re stronger than you can ever imagine.

You’ve got this far and as weary as you are you’re still fighting. You’re winning. You are on the ropes but you’ll come back stronger. Keep battling. Keep surviving.

 

[Firefly]

Follow the voices in your heart then.
They are the ones that continue to give you strength.
They nourish you.

Have you started CBT or something to start after the PTSD...it doesn't have to be a terminal diagnosis. In fact it can be the first step to finding how to break that noisy cycle in your head.

 

[VIP]

I’m proud of you opening up on here. It can’t be easy doing that.

You’re stronger than you think.

We’re on your side.

 

[MrWolf]

17 years of this hell and I just don't know how to keep fighting.


@Firefly I'm waiting for psychiatric help. I'm on a list. The voices are far too loud, they'd rather see me drown, and slowly my heart is goin the same way

 

[Firefly]

I am glad you are at least on a list.

The voices are far too loud

they are only voice. Let them be like the noise of the construction team down the road.

 

[VIP]

Keep going, you can get through it one minute, one hour at a time one day. Theyre all steps forward even though they don’t feel that way.

Like Firefly has said you’re on the list. That’s a step in the right direction.

You can do this.

 

[VIP]

@MrWolf have you called 116 123? It’s the number for the Samaritans. I’ve just looked it up.

They maybe able to help you, to talk to you. To give you some better advice than I.

If you prefer to message me that’s fine I’m here.

You’re not on your own.