Look at primal yoga. It’s less about the pose and more about fluid transition. This develops the core, glutes and so on very well. Splits it’s a case of little and often. Start with straddle and put one foot to the corner of the wall and mark where you can reach with the other. Little and often...
Tbh if you’re keen for meets I’d try fabswingers. I get it though. Personally I enjoy popping on from time to time (sporadically) I like the chat and flirtation. Very often a bit of a sausage fest though lol.
It’s not as bad as taking a body shot so not so bad haha
I like to keep my “kinks” away from training where I am effectively rolling around in just a pair of shorts with other men.