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Granted you're now stuck in a dreary afternoon on a Saturday where its raining constantly and it's always 3.00pm I wish that aliens were real

Granted you're the only person who listened to the dolphins sing so long and thanks for all the fish I wish I could understand and talk to animals

Ey up jugs ya stunna u xx

Stunning minxy mwah xxx pink suits u it's a nice colour, so can we discuss the whole aunty thing lol

Granted you have all the creativity in the world all the suddenly jobless artists authors poets and painters mob your house and murder you I wish that I knew everything

He's done this before

Granted he's now a giant man eating shark the next time you feed him you lose a hand I wish that football wasn't all about the poncy haircuts

(that was a matrix reference) and yes I'm a leftie Do you wank with a predominant hand or are you ambiwanktrous

Wow that is some amazingly terrible photo shopping I'm sure you put a post up like this before

Congrats you now have a torch I wish for a bus

I like female mountains both front and back Do you want the red or blue pill

Granted you travel into a book bit get stuck inside the book FOREVER lol I wish that action movies were real life

Granted you eat raw chicken and get salmonella I wish that life had a purpose

Granted here is a worm filled apple I wish for a better life

Hmm no Do you know the muffin man

Granted woops you didn't ask for a space suit now you're a corpse floating in space I wish TV shows were better

Granted you've just been fired from work and lost all intimate and familial relationships now you have time for everything I wish for a wish

Granted you now live in the office/place of work that your work at congrats now everyone can see your morning face I wish I was a business man

I'm partially deaf so no Do you know

Granted you have a glass made of wine, now its left an embarrassing stain on your carpet I wish I owned a holiday home