I still live in rural Hampshire. I do research and there's a very high possibility that I earn more than you do. So regrettably I will have to pass on your offers to buy my pants (you can get identical ones online from Next, M&S, Oddballs, Zara, etc) so no need to pay me £50. They really are cheaper there. Also no I don't sell my wee or errr 'bodily secretions' in bottles nor will I smear any into an envelope.