Bigwig_uk
UKChat Newbie
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2024
- Messages
- 18
- Reaction score
- 8
So a panda walks into a bar. (So far so strange right? bear with...)
The panda goes up and orders a filet steak and a bottle of Chatue-nauf-dupe. (He has taste I know your thinking.)
His arrival and order is noted by a lady of the night and she sways up to him and asks if he's feeling lonely?
He finishes his meal and washes it down with his wine. "perhaps we could go upstairs?" she purrs.
Dabbing his mouth with a napkin he nods. (he's a panda what! You expect him to talk?)
The barman smiles and winks at her as she takes him by the paw and leads him upstairs. "I'll go easy on him frank" she calls.
So to the room upstairs they go and slipping out of her dress she stands hand on hips in her lingerie, stockings and heels and asks what's his pleasure?
Well, this Panda has ideas..
Pushing her back onto the bed he tears her knickers off and proceeds to go at her lady garden like Winnie the Pooh with a honey pot.
Now this lady has been round the block. Last time she got a silver blanket and a medal. This was something new even to her.
He wasnt so much as doing the alphabet on her love button but performing complex mathematical equations. He was treating her like Pi.
So close to having her first real orgasm in years she was more than irked when he stopped and flipped her over onto her front.
She needn't have worried....
Pandas got his bamboo out and like William fricking Tell he's hitting that spot.
He's pounding away like a drummer on those Greek sailing boats in Jason and the Argonauts. Don-duh, don-duh...(you get the idea).
She's twitching like flippers blowhole whilst munching on the pillow to keep from screaming the place down. (spiting feathers literally).
With a bellow Panda let's off his cum cannon and pebble dashes the wall with her like a Mr Stay Puff explosion. (if you've not seen ghost busters do so. Now!)
Now for the punch line... I know you've been patient
Collapsing in a heap she shakely lights up and asks "was it good for you lover?".
He puts 2 thumbs up and moves towards the door.
"Ahem! Haven't you forgotten something?" with outstretched hand.
He shakes head and continues. "I'm a whore. You need to pay me."
He looks confused. Looking round she spies a dictionary. Opening and pointing at the page. it says Prostitute: has sex for money".
He smiles and moves her finger up and walks out the door.
It says Panda: Eats shoots and leaves
The panda goes up and orders a filet steak and a bottle of Chatue-nauf-dupe. (He has taste I know your thinking.)
His arrival and order is noted by a lady of the night and she sways up to him and asks if he's feeling lonely?
He finishes his meal and washes it down with his wine. "perhaps we could go upstairs?" she purrs.
Dabbing his mouth with a napkin he nods. (he's a panda what! You expect him to talk?)
The barman smiles and winks at her as she takes him by the paw and leads him upstairs. "I'll go easy on him frank" she calls.
So to the room upstairs they go and slipping out of her dress she stands hand on hips in her lingerie, stockings and heels and asks what's his pleasure?
Well, this Panda has ideas..
Pushing her back onto the bed he tears her knickers off and proceeds to go at her lady garden like Winnie the Pooh with a honey pot.
Now this lady has been round the block. Last time she got a silver blanket and a medal. This was something new even to her.
He wasnt so much as doing the alphabet on her love button but performing complex mathematical equations. He was treating her like Pi.
So close to having her first real orgasm in years she was more than irked when he stopped and flipped her over onto her front.
She needn't have worried....
Pandas got his bamboo out and like William fricking Tell he's hitting that spot.
He's pounding away like a drummer on those Greek sailing boats in Jason and the Argonauts. Don-duh, don-duh...(you get the idea).
She's twitching like flippers blowhole whilst munching on the pillow to keep from screaming the place down. (spiting feathers literally).
With a bellow Panda let's off his cum cannon and pebble dashes the wall with her like a Mr Stay Puff explosion. (if you've not seen ghost busters do so. Now!)
Now for the punch line... I know you've been patient
Collapsing in a heap she shakely lights up and asks "was it good for you lover?".
He puts 2 thumbs up and moves towards the door.
"Ahem! Haven't you forgotten something?" with outstretched hand.
He shakes head and continues. "I'm a whore. You need to pay me."
He looks confused. Looking round she spies a dictionary. Opening and pointing at the page. it says Prostitute: has sex for money".
He smiles and moves her finger up and walks out the door.
It says Panda: Eats shoots and leaves
Last edited: