Growing older

[ciaran88]

This may be a little too deep but I'm interested to see other peoples view points.

I'm not fast approaching my late 30s and this year is the first year that my body has decided to actually give out on me and I've been finding it tough to find motivation, while managing pain etc, it doesn't help that I've always suffered from depression.

How have some of you dealt with getting older? It doesn't help that I'm a shy introvert type person, so as much as I'd life to grab life by its balls I struggle.

What things do you do to make you feel youthful?

 

[GrumpyOldishMan]

I've loved getting older.

I've become more self aware, less concerned with what others might think, wiser for experience, financially secure, and generally more relaxed and content with life.

All while retaining my boyish good looks.

 

[ciaran88]

I've loved getting older.

I've become more self aware, less concerned with what others might think, wiser for experience, financially secure, and generally more relaxed and content with life.

All while retaining my boyish good looks.

I love the sound of all of that, the self awareness, being less concerned of what others think etc, but I'm really not there yet unfortunately.

No one can deny your boyish good looks dude lol

 

[HardAnal]

I would concur with having the experience to back your wise insights with. I find the older I get, the more readilly I understand people. This makes me content. Having a playful attitude also helps. Being young at heart helps your body.

 

[Carollo]

Get outside as much as you can, walk around wherever you live. Pluck up the courage and go and have a coffee in any coffee shop. Don’t let being single stop you from going to the cinema or shows. I go to see live bands on my own, scary at first but now I don’t care…I’m not the only single person there. Try not to overthink things…worry is pointless. Don’t use social media too often…compare and despair isn’t helpful and people post the exciting things they’re doing because they like to create the illusion they live exciting lives. It’s an old saying but life really isn’t a dress rehearsal….you have so much ahead of you, take control and make changes, don’t let it control you. You are young and a good person….start taking those small steps and give yourself a pat on the back xxx

 

[Alise]

I think I'm probably the happiest I've ever been.

Agree with above, you become more settled in yourself...content. Less concerned with what people think of you. I've found joy in becoming more me, finding passions and putting everything into them. I've learnt new skills from scratch throughout my late thirties till now.

I'm a hands on person, so being able to make something or work on something till it's completed is a whole different kind of satisfaction.

I don't know your situation, but if you can- being able to live abroad and work in a community where no one knows you from before, is also very freeing. Like a free pass to be someone else completely. Build friendships and relationships with people from different walks of life. It's a great experience. Doing something you thought you couldn't keeps you very young x

 

[ciaran88]

Thank you both for your replies.

I've started going to gigs on my own, I've been to two in the last two weeks. I even made friends with a couple on my way home who was there as we got on the same train and got off and ended up living in the same town. They were probably in there 50s. I find it easier to talk to older people.

As for moving abroad, that would be lovely, but I'm too stupid and I have absolutely zero confidence. I hope like you've both said that I become a bit more comfortable in myself as time goes on but I dunno.

 

[Alise]

Honestly, confidence, is just faking it. Until it becomes natural. I literally psyche myself up, and pretend I'm the most confident person in the room, everytime I have present in court, or in any forum. And it works. And when it works, you become just a little bit more naturally confident.

Firm believe in faking it. It's got me to a lot of places I didn't think I could.

 

[HardAnal]

I'm naturally an introvert. But I am aware that I have certain abilities. So I can appear to be the most outgoing person in the room, bringing people together and making them laugh, play and have fun. Am I faking it? Kind of... Chat and the anonymity it brings can allow you space and freedom to do that. Getting on voice note in a room of 200 is easy. Standing up infront of 200 is a lot harder.

 

[Firefly]

 

[ciaran88]

Honestly, confidence, is just faking it. Until it becomes natural. I literally psyche myself up, and pretend I'm the most confident person in the room, everytime I have present in court, or in any forum. And it works. And when it works, you become just a little bit more naturally confident.

Firm believe in faking it. It's got me to a lot of places I didn't think I could.

That makes sense to me, to a degree, but just finding the confidence to fake it... seems like a catch 22 in my case lol

I'm naturally an introvert. But I am aware that I have certain abilities. So I can appear to be the most outgoing person in the room, bringing people together and making them laugh, play and have fun. Am I faking it? Kind of... Chat and the anonymity it brings can allow you space and freedom to do that. Getting on voice note in a room of 200 is easy. Standing up infront of 200 is a lot harder.

You always come across confident, but I think you have good people skills too, and a personality that people find it east to connect with. I.... do not lol

 

[HardAnal]

You always come across confident, but I think you have good people skills too, and a personality that people find it east to connect with. I.... do not lol

Don't put yourself down. You are your own worst enemy for that. There's a lot about you to be proud of, a lot that people find attractive. Self-depreciating humour done correctly can be attractive. Self-abuse is not....

 

[Amelia24]

Ok to add my bit on growing older…lol only joking …

I just wanted to say I have faced some negativity as previous me on this site (not since coming back) and to see the really nice and helpful comments people have added to this thread is really nice and makes you see there are some good people around here …..nice one you lot

 

[ciaran88]

Don't put yourself down. You are your own worst enemy for that. There's a lot about you to be proud of, a lot that people find attractive. Self-depreciating humour done correctly can be attractive. Self-abuse is not....

Cheers dude, I'll work on being kinder to myself, and perhaps the rest will click into place.