4 Rules to Find the Right People as a Transsexual

1. Be direct, not defensive
   Everyone has a goal when chatting online. That goal could be casual chatting, something more flirty, or even trans hookups with locals in their area. Being direct and saying what you mean is your best bet to attracting the right people.

At the same time, don’t feed into people’s ignorance. If a chatter asks an offensive or uncomfortable question about your identity, there’s no need to answer it. If you feel comfortable educating the person, that’s one choice. You can also shut down the question entirely.

2. Choose the right place to chat
   Who you chat with will largely depend on where you chat. Online chatting can happen on many platforms, each designed with specific intentions and audiences in mind. To find trans-affirming chatters, users can chat in LGBTQ+ and queer chatting rooms where people are more likely to respect your identity.

3. Follow a flow, not a script
   Everyone you chat with will be different. The best rule of thumb is to always “vibe” out the situation. Instead of practicing word-for-word what you’re going to say, consider creating a general flow to get your goals and intentions across.

Here are some goals to consider for that general flow:

• Meeting friends
• Casual flirting
• Trans hookups
• Finding love
• Exploring identity
• Finding support and advice

4. Recognize fetishization
   No matter the context, fetishization is a red flag. In the context of online flirting, sexting, or trans hookups, fetishization reduces a trans person to just a fantasy or something novel to explore.

The biggest sign of fetishization is if the other person is overly fixated on your trans identity. They push you to answer overly sexual questions about your body and procedures, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Emojis, Energy & When to Send That First ‘Hello, let's go on a date?’

You chat, and then you start to feel fuzzy and warm. The question then is: how do you go from first encounter to dating? Here’s advice to land you that first date, or whatever else you’re looking for.

Compliment the unexpected: Beautiful eyes? Pretty face? Boring, and they’ve heard it before. The trick is to go with the unexpected. Talk about their taste, vibe, or energy, and that’s a compliment worth remembering.

Move away from chat rooms: The more times someone sees you, the more they’ll remember you. If you feel comfortable, give them your social media accounts or even your number. It’s also a way to show that you’re serious and not just another flirt who’s going to fly away with the wind.

Be a subtle flirt: You don’t have to be a pro flirt. But, try a little teasing. Try some friendly banter or teasing, and it could set the tone right for the rest of the interaction.

Know when to shift gears: All conversations come to a stall. When you feel that coming, throw a curveball. Ask an out-there question to re-energize the chat. Or, be even braver and ask for that next step or date.

• Light and Flirty Advice to Keep the Chat Going

Did you know chronic boredom is on the rise? According to a 2024 study published in Nature, digital media is stimulating people to such an extent that it diminishes people’s sense of meaning.

And, honestly, we’ve all been there. Chatting that’s so boring that it feels like a second job? A sense of flow is the antidote to a stiff chat.

The best chats are effortless, and a few simple tips can shift the whole dynamic of a conversation.

• Avoid overexplaining
  In movies, overexplaining can be quirky and fun. In online chatting, it can make a conversation feel heavy. To start, it’s always best to keep things light-hearted until you know them better.

• Use callbacks
  Everyone likes to be heard and remembered. That’s the power of a callback. A callback is when you remember something they’ve said and reintroduce it into the conversation.

• Block and bless
  Remember, you don’t owe anyone anything. Block, bless, and move on when dealing with rude people. If things are stalling with someone, it’s also okay to move on. Not every chat is a love story, and moving on can help you find the chat that is a love story.

• Tackle Online Chatting with More Fun and Adventure

Online chatting can be scary for trans folk. But, it can also be a seriously fun ride. With these rules, advice, and tips, you’re now better equipped to find the right people while weeding out the trolls.

Make fun memories, chat with strangers, and see what happens!