Jokes, any will do
- Thread starter Kris1973
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Kris1973
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Was walking past the mental hospital when i heard someone shouting 12 12 12 12.
I noticed a small gap in the fence so decided to stick my head in through the gap and take a look and saw a man sitting on a chair laughing and shouting 12 12 12 12.
A second man was standing inside the fence at the gap waving a stick and also laughing so i asked him what was up with the other man?
He poked me in the eye with the stick and told me to mind my own business.
The other man then shouts 13 13 13 13.
I noticed a small gap in the fence so decided to stick my head in through the gap and take a look and saw a man sitting on a chair laughing and shouting 12 12 12 12.
A second man was standing inside the fence at the gap waving a stick and also laughing so i asked him what was up with the other man?
He poked me in the eye with the stick and told me to mind my own business.
The other man then shouts 13 13 13 13.
Kris1973
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Took my dog to the vet as he has a bad turn in his eyes.
The vet lifted the dog up and looked straight in to his eyes.
He confirmed that the dog had a bad turn in his eyes and said i must put him down now.
I said surely you wont put him down because he has a turn in his eyes.
Vet replied no i am putting him down because he is too heavy and i cant hold him any longer...
The vet lifted the dog up and looked straight in to his eyes.
He confirmed that the dog had a bad turn in his eyes and said i must put him down now.
I said surely you wont put him down because he has a turn in his eyes.
Vet replied no i am putting him down because he is too heavy and i cant hold him any longer...
Kris1973
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My wife was fed up with me, so she packed my things and told me to get out. As I walked out she yelled, "And I hope you die a long, slow, and very painful death."
I replied, "I wish you would make up your mind, So you want me to stay now?"
I replied, "I wish you would make up your mind, So you want me to stay now?"
Kris1973
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Apparently it's no longer politically-correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so:
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Ghurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an Ethiopian went to a night club.
The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Ghurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Kiwi, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an Ethiopian went to a night club.
The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai.
